


Betrayal

by darklioness82



Category: The Bletchley Circle: San Francisco (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 09:58:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15906000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklioness82/pseuds/darklioness82
Summary: Hailey’s secret is exposed against her will, leaving her friendship with Iris in tatters. Jean helps her to deal with the aftermath.





	Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> Written after Episode Four and during the ITV series hiatus in the UK. I’m desperately trying to avoid spoilers as far as I can. I doubt I’ll manage to last until it’s back on UK screens but I’m going to try my best so I can continue to write Jean/Hailey fics before all my hopes are dashed ;)

 

 ****The immediate moments after the betrayal were the worst to bear and for Hailey it felt like time had frozen on that very moment. She had been stunned into silence, her lungs heaved with effort on every expansion and contraction as she had simply tried to breathe where she stood. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears and thudded heavily in her chest. She felt woozy and her body had to fight harder just to remain upright. This wasn’t what she had wanted, it hadn’t been his secret to tell and now she had to face the consequences of his vengeful actions. It might not be illegal for her, like it was for him, but she would probably still lose everything, would have to pack up her life once more and move on. She’d done it before but this time it would be different; she’d grown into a woman here, made true friends and found a life for herself.

 

Suddenly the world rushed back into focus, its colour almost too bright and the sound too loud for her to cope with, but Hailey knew that she had to face reality, whether she was ready for it or not.

 

“Is it true?” Iris asked her, the disappointment evident in her voice. She didn’t appear concerned that her friend had just been abused and accused in the middle of the street, more that Hailey had kept this huge secret from her, that other people had known before she did. “Is it true!?” Iris’s tone was harsher, her anger overwhelming the compassion she normally had for her friend.  

“Yes. It’s true.” Hailey couldn’t be anything but truthful at this point. And even though she had faced the question with bravery and honesty, it hadn't make it any less frightening to actually say out loud.

 

“I'm not sure I know who you are anymore.” The confusion was evident in her voice. Iris had known her for thirteen, fourteen years, had seen her flourish from tough prairie kid to streetwise city woman but she had never imagined this sort of future for her. Hailey had had a hard start to life, forced to grow up before her time, in a place that valued her ability to graft and earn her keep, rather than her intellect. Iris knew that the choice to live in this way only meant that it was going to get more difficult for her.

 

“I'm still me, it's always been a part of me.” Hailey pleaded with her friend to understand that nothing had really changed, that she was just being honest with herself. And now, even though it hadn’t been through choice, she was being honest with her closest friends. “Somewhere deep down you must have known?” That caught Iris unaware because she suddenly realised that it was true but she’d always tried to brush it off as something else; a lack of experience, her difficult childhood or some altogether different explanation, anything other than the one that had been right in front of her.

 

“Hailey, just try to think about what you’re saying because once people think that you’re, you’re…” Iris filled in the blank with a gesture of her hands and a nod of her head. She swallowed hard as she couldn’t even bring herself to say the word, or even a more polite euphemism for it, “...the label will stick and you can’t take it back.” Hailey could lose her job, her home and her ability to replace them if she got a reputation for being… _that way_.  

 

“I don’t want to take it back, this _is_ who I am Iris.” Hailey had wrestled with it in private for such a long time, so it had hardly been a conscious choice or an overnight conclusion.   

 

“I can’t even talk to you like this.” Iris couldn’t meet her eyes and Hailey looked crestfallen. She wondered if she had just lost the best friend and advocate that she’d ever had in this world. So she ran, tears streaming down her cheeks as she fled, not really knowing where she was running to. Iris stood rooted to the spot still in a state of shock and Millie and Jean saw that she had been just as shaken by the revelations as Hailey. However, Jean’s instinct and first thoughts were towards the younger woman as they had formed a close bond over the past few months. Jean felt that she had some wisdom she might be able to impart and she had at least an idea of where Hailey could have been headed.

  
“I’ll go” Jean offered and Millie nodded, not having expected anything else and silently acknowledging that she would take care of Iris.

 

***

 

There was a place that Hailey had taken Jean to a while ago, back when they were doing the rounds questioning people, building up a picture of evidence on the case that had brought Jean and Millie to San Francisco in the first place. It was the first time they’d been paired up together and they seemed to have been a recurring duo ever since. It was the closest place that Jean could think of where Hailey could have got to without her car.

 

It was a balcony, high up on a public building and the entrance to the stairs was hidden away from the main street, so very few people knew about it. Once at the top, it held the most spectacular view of the city. Jean struggled to climb up the stairs, especially after having just walked at a fair pace to get there, but she set aside the ache in her damaged leg and carried on. She found Hailey sat crossed legged at the edge of the balcony, seemingly lost in thought.

 

“Are you okay?” Jean asked once she had got her breath back enough to speak. It was reminiscent of when Hailey had asked that exact same question on the beach, not long after James Crawford had pointed a gun at her. Hailey was unsurprised to have heard Jean’s voice, somehow instinctively knowing that if anyone, Jean would have been the one to follow her.

 

“Not really.” Hailey shook her head sadly and Jean carefully sat herself down next to her. She gathered the younger woman into a brief sideways hug, rubbed her arm in some sort of gesture of comfort and then allowed Hailey some time to collect her thoughts. “She hates me.” Hailey’s dejected tone sent a pang to Jean’s heart.  

 

“She doesn't hate you.” Jean tried her best to reassure her. “You're her friend and she cares about you. She just needs a little time to get used to the idea.” Of course, Jean couldn’t be certain but it had been clear to see just how much their friendship had meant to Iris in the years since the war. A bond like that wasn’t broken without putting up a fight to save it first.

 

“But _you_ knew?” Hailey realised that neither Jean nor Millie had seemed at all shocked by the revelation.

 

“I had an inkling. But it was for _you_ to tell me; _if_ , when and how you wanted to.” Whether Jean was just perceptive or that she had a particular skill for understanding those who were similarly afflicted she didn’t know, but she’d been right about a number of girls, and some men, that she’d been acquainted with over the years.

 

“Does it ever get easier?” Jean chuckled sardonically.

 

“No. But you do learn to deal with it better.” Hailey let out a sarcastic chuckle at the irony in Jean’s words.

 

“Or just ignore it completely… hmm?” Hailey challenged the older woman as she took a sideways look at her. It was true that Jean had chosen spinsterhood as a way of avoiding just this sort of heartache but growing up when she did meant that she’d had an altogether different sort of experience to Hailey. She’d been eleven when the Great War had begun, fifteen when it had ended and it had shaped those final years of her adolescence. She’d been an adult at the outbreak of the second war, had become an instrumental part of the war effort and had witnessed first hand how it had brought together all sorts of people who were deemed _different_. In the years since, those people had not been able to go back to how it was before, so had sought each other out. Although it was very much a subversive culture and lifestyle, it was still more accessible than it had ever been before.

 

“We're talking about you, not me.” Try as she might not to, Hailey had a way of making Jean open up and though part of her felt vulnerable, another part of her was relieved to be sharing her innermost thoughts and feelings with someone who seemed to instinctively understand.

 

“Doesn't make it any less true though does it? You hid yourself away, took yourself out of the ring to avoid getting hurt.” Hailey truly was a perceptive young woman and Jean felt compelled to be honest with her.

 

“It was just easier that way. Besides I've not exactly been inundated with offers.” Jean chuckled self-deprecatingly and Hailey swiveled herself around to face her square on.

 

“Well, here's one now for ya,” Hailey took Jean’s left hand in her own and looked her right in the eye. “Jean McBrian, you are a beautiful, smart and funny woman and I would be honoured if you would step out with me.” The confidence in her words belied the nerves that thrummed wildly in her veins. The last thing she wanted was a second friendship to be ruined today but she’d felt the opportunity present itself and she hadn’t been able to let it go. Jean was slightly embarrassed by Hailey’s compliments. She’d always been a plain woman who expressed humour through sarcasm and dry wit. They were not the markings of a desirable woman. And despite all she had achieved at Bletchley, she’d had to settle for being a librarian while she could only dream of working for the Foreign Office.

 

“I'm flattered Hailey but I think it's unwise to start something right now...”

 

“Why, because you're not interested? Then tell me, I'm a big girl I can take rejection.” Of course, that was blatantly untrue, she’d be heartbroken if the answer was a negative one. Hailey felt that something had been building between them, almost from the day that had first met.    

 

“Oh no, I'm definitely interested.” Jean, not quite knowing what had made her so bold and brazen, looked at Hailey with appraising eyes that emphasised her desire. “But I’d hate for this to be some sort of a knee-jerk reaction to everything that’s happened today. I think you need time to adjust and repair your friendship with Iris first.” The sensible part of Jean always won out, even in moments of bravery but she also felt it was the right way of dealing with this situation.  

 

“You know that’s not true, you and I….” Hailey waved a hand between them "We’ve been skirting around this for weeks. The only reason I didn’t kiss you on the beach that night was because I lost my nerve.” She’d been close more than once during that evening but besides not knowing if she’d done enough to persuade Jean to stay, she wasn’t sure if any overtures would have been taken well.

 

“I find that very hard to believe.” Hailey was endearingly straightforward and her confidence had been a marvel to observe.

 

“I’m not as confident as people might think and I don’t think you are either.” Although true, Jean was spurred on to prove Hailey wrong so reached out to cup her cheek with her palm. She leaned closer and pressed her lips to the younger woman’s. Hailey didn't hesitate to kiss her back and all thoughts of keeping it chaste fled from their minds. Butterflies fluttered in Hailey’s belly and tingled throughout her body. Jean couldn’t honestly say that she wasn’t similarly affected. They broke off to catch their breaths a moment. “Wow, that was… I mean… god… wow…” Jean let out a genuine laugh in agreement, she felt lighter and happier than she had in a long time. Hailey kissed Jean again, just to make sure she hadn’t been dreaming. She rested her forehead against Jean’s to maintain the intimacy for as long as she could. It led to a few more kisses before Jean had to enforce some space between them.

 

“We probably ought to think about heading back, not to mention that this is still a very public setting.” Jean sensibly suggested before they got too carried away.

 

“Jean….?” Hailey asked the other woman tentatively.

 

“Mmm?”

 

“This changes things doesn’t it? ‘Cos I don’t think I can go back to what we were before.” Jean looked conflicted for a moment, that sensible part of her fought to say no. It reasoned that it wouldn’t work between them, that the age gap was insurmountable and because they still had to be discreet, it would be too difficult a pretence to keep up. But her heart was telling her something different, to take a chance on the happiness that had always eluded her. And if she could make someone else happy in the process, she would be giving Hailey a wonderful gift.

 

“Yes, I think it does change things, but only if you want it to?” Hailey’s smile lit up her whole face and Jean felt privileged to be the one responsible for it.  

 

“Very much so.” Jean felt like a giddy school girl, probably for the first time since she was one, and reached out for Hailey’s hand. She kissed the top of her knuckles before they helped each other to their feet. “Did you walk all the way here and up those stairs?” Hailey asked incredulously, seemingly only just realising what an effort it must have been for her. Jean nodded shyly, not wanting to make too much of a big deal about it. Hailey curled her palm around Jean’s cheek and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. “Thank you for coming to find me, it means a lot.”

 

“Come on you soppy thing, we’d best be off.” Jean blinked back her teary eyed emotion and hooked her arm through Hailey’s to lean against. Fortunately they had the pretence of her injury in order to walk more closely side by side than what would usually be deemed appropriate. Perhaps the subterfuge wouldn’t be so difficult after all?

  



End file.
